VALENTINES - DAME' TIMES

What would you do if you were stranded between two or may be three things that you would desperately want , but pity you have the choice to get just one !!!!!!!!!!! About 95% of the people would sit there pondering what to choose, what to opt for and finally end up with neither of the things ! Among the rest 5 % , atleast 4 % have an equal chance of taking the WRONG one ! Talking about that rare category of 1% ... bastards...they are always damn perfect...dead right and terribly Lucky! They just get all of them !!! A whole era of one's life is spent about 'getting' into that 1% category ... wonder how many make it into 'that ' ... I , all my life have been desperately wanting to be into that...But fcuk my luck ...never made it there lol . I guess I would keep on trying to get there...perhaps one day I might just get there ! Today happens to be Valentines Day... God bless...all lovers and the so-called lovers ... about guys like me ...guess we could just spend the day working just in case we have some ...or just sit there and not think its a Valentines ... I was sitting at a Coffee Shop and happened to realise it was indeed Feb 14 th...Holy Heavens...I have never been excited about feb 14 th all my Life...Don't know why ...may be 'cos I just did not how to make 'use' of it ...or may be I just did not have someone to 'burn' my bucks on ...on this 'auspicious' day ...or may be I was God Damn Lucky not to have a Girl Friend...Trust me ...I am not aware of what the word actually means ...True...Girl Friend...for me is a girl who is a friend or a friend who happens to be a girl!...perhaps I could be rated among those people who the world would acclaim as ''Morons'' ....Awww ... that makes me laugh.... Moron...the commonly used word borrowed from the US of A which our own Desi chaps use either to showcase their knowledge about the exsistence of USA ! or just to be associated with the ''Yo Mann! ...we Cool! ''hep types and ofcourse some use it to intend the right meaning , well, as u know the world ain't devoid of the 'represenataives' !. Talking about girls... I knew a girl...I mean I do know her even now of course ( God help me !) who was real cute (was she ???)...I mean real good, nice and may be you should just take help of the dictionary beside for more words...All I could get out of her for all the months I knew her was may be some phone calls ... hmmm let me say few not some ! and ofcourse few graceful occasions when with all my inborn intelligence I could just get her to meet me ...you would laugh if I were to tell ya on what reasons I could get her to meet me ...of course it was never the regualar 'CUP OF COFFEE' style ...Trust me I wasn't the sweet smiling cool charming hunk , I mean I can smile sweet alrite , and yes I can be charming but somehow I can never get myself to act as one wid a gurl !!!... I was more like the raw meal than the multi-cusine from the heavens...lol I laugh a lot as I replay those 'memorable' days ... I was damn outright , terribely honest for a guy trying to impress a girl and astoundingly upfront and too 'raw' for a gentleman ...heheh. Hmmm...but then that was me ...and I prided myself for being so...but in the heart of hearts ... I was a child...a mere simple boy next door...someone who was all ready to impress and take care of his 'lady'...but ofcourse that never was shown and I never wanted to show it the world...they say guys like me are rare...'cos they are just not sure about what they should be ! lol...hell, care a dime about those who say that ...anyway about this girl... I was like ...I mean I was ...stupified and stumped ! Never sure as to how I cud approach her and never sure as to what I would wana talk with her and worse of the worst NEVER SURE about what is it that I wanted from her , was it Love , infatuation, care , company , chcolates??? , toffess??? atleast money ??? ...heavens grace me ...I was never sure...that money part I was sure... I neva would get into a relatiuon ship for Money ...lol that s not in my Blood ! And so on the time passed 3 months , few months, an year , a little more than that and finally two years !!! I look back and think about what kinda guy was I, that I could not get to talk to her as much and meet her as much and I always laugh at the mere thought of going out for a movie with her ...fcukkkkk!!!! and that thought , is still a dream ...not that I care an inch anymore now...I have left that story go by ...bygones are BYE Gones , I once happened to ask her out for a movie...and she squeezed out a wonder'fool' reason... that she had to teach her bro some study stuff that eve ! And many months later I came to know that she was not sure if she cud come with me to a movie...I felt bad...I would have felt less bad if she said that b4 , when I first asked her out a NO cud have torn through cardiac muscles like a piercing arrow ... but I cud have taken the bloody pain then( sometimes u just ain't that lucky to decide when u wana loose even !) ...and now , as I ponder about what went wrong or what did not go RIGHT! Trust me , I am still CLUELESS ! She did have a boyfriend ( I don't understand who a boyfriend is ... a Lover , A guy who just happened to attract a gurl or some one who is a 'pitstop'until the next 'pitstop' !) , she later said they broke up ...huh... things like these happen ... not bad ...but what is sad is that they happen too fast and too many times to the same person... I been hearing such 'stories' from my kid days ...made me loose 'trust' in something called LOVE ( IF IT SO DESERVES TO BE KNOWN as), I fail to understand what kinda relation is that , when a guy and a gurl call themselves gf-bf , I lost on that count...I no more believe much on that ...I do believe Love can happen... and I wud be the first guy standing there to see if it can happen to me ! But what wud u or I call a thing that happens to a gurl or a guy when he/she breaks up on a little more than a few realationships ! Certainly Not Love... 'cos for me Love is something that can happen and stay forever and not just disappear...I now think I cud have been lucky when it came to this gurl ... for one I was not sure what was it I wanted ... two... I was not sure if she were the right one if at all I wanted her to be mine ! And three FRIENDS IS FINE ... A LITTLE MORE THAN FRIENDS IS ALMOST A WINE THAT LEAVES UR SENSES ON THE NEXT MORN RUN! ADIOS ...